by David D. Lee
My wife Cindy and I have two girls, Madilyn and Allison. We will be celebrating our 21st year anniversary this coming May, but we almost did not make it.
Over the past few years, Cindy and I drifted apart so much because of my neglect and a series of events took place to a destroy our family. The day after Christmas of 2011, everything blew up. I don’t remember much from the first three months of last year, it just seems very foggy to me, but the best words to describe that time were “stunned” and “hopelessness.”
It was probably the most difficult months of my life.
After spending about 9 months in counseling and leaning on the prayers of our CrossWay community, Cindy and I have committed to “rebirth” our marriage. We cannot rebuild or fix it because, now, it is going to be a completely different marriage. Even as we were in counseling, we talked about divorce and separation, and at times it seemed like the only option left for us.
I am thankful that we did not give up.
I am thankful that we did not divorce and avoided other extreme outcomes.
I truly believe that this level of healing, forgiveness and reconciliation can only be completed in us because we have been transformed (and continue to be transformed) by the love of Christ and what he has demonstrated on the cross.
Cindy and I are reconnecting with each other. It will always be work in progress… but there is nothing that we will hide from each other. I feel that we can say anything without being judged. There is nothing that will be shameful between us. I think this is what God intended when He created marriage.
Cindy is a precious daughter of God, just as I am precious in His eyes, and He has brought us together for the most important relationship and journey we can ever have on this earth!
Couple of months ago, one moment that stands out in my mind is when I saw Maddi grin from ear to ear one morning. She saw that I hugged and kissed Cindy that morning for the first time in 11 months.
In a strange way I am glad that our marriage was turned upside down. Because now, we have a new marriage.
A new beginning.
The end of our marriage and journey on earth is when death will separate us, and I believe we might then find that one treasure from God was the journey itself.